InterMission Post(5)...In Which I Decide That JesusJones Is Getting A Sucked-Mango-Pip-Head

So. Me. And Cat. We were playing Chase Like Mad And Get MaggotyBrained. And it was Serious Fun.

Only Mom didn't think so. She started giving us a lecture on No More Silly Buggers!

Before we go any further, let me explain some stuff. First about MaggotyBrain. This is what happens with JesusJones. Not me. I don't get MaggotBrain. Not really. Not like Cat does.

MaggotyBrain is what Mom calls it when Cat gets THAT look on his furry face.

His eyes go all BUGGED OUT. They get a Glassy Shine. His ears go Flat. And then he Kills Stuff. He kills carpets and slippers and Mom's bras. And Mom gets MAD! Sometimes he goes in Mom's cupboard and he does Stuff in there that makes her Spit Snakes, Like Systematically Pull Each and Every Item of Clothing Out. Then he sits on the pile of clothes and does his Cat-Cleaning Act. Which always involves licking his butt. Which he REALLY likes to do just as Mom walks into the room and sees all the Cat-Caused-Chaos. Which makes Mom as Steamed Up as a Steamed Up Thing.

Another MaggotyBrain thing we like to do is play Chase-Chase. In this game chase him and he runs. And he does sliding on the carpets. And so do I. Sometimes we can go right across the whole floor on a single slide. Then Cat chases me. And we do a Reverse Slide across the carpets and they get Really Messed Up. And Cat jumps on the furniture. He thinks he can get away from me. He can't. I can jump, too.

So on this day of MaggotyBrain, Mom was trying to work and she said. in her normal voice: Hey!!! You Guys????!!!

And we did not hear her. So she used her BIG VOICE...

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! YOU GUYS?????!!!!!!!!

And Cat and me? We stopped what we were doing. Immediately.

Well? I stopped. I sat. And I looked at Mom. Cat? Not so much.

Mom cleared her throat, put down her paint brush, and said WTF, you two? W.T.F.?.?.?.!.!.!.

See, we all live in a teeny, tiny space which is our Noahbago. And when Mom wants to do stuff like Painting? It occupies Almost Every Single bit of spare space in the ' Bago. And even the Not Spare Space. And usually? When Mom paints? It goes EVERYWHERE. On the floor. On her hands and clothes. The counters. In her hair. Everywhere.

(Here is some of the Stuff Mom was Painting)

She did this stuff because, on this day? She was missing her home...

This time Mom was being Extra Careful. She was really trying So Hard to Not Get Paint Everywhere. And that took an Enormous Amount of Concentration, probably. Which is why she went all WTF on Cat and me.

So I sat nicely. And I listened to Mom. And then I sneaked a peek at Cat and I could see he was being a Smart-Arse. But I was being a Good Girl  Moyo because I sat nicely and I looked at Mom. Even though she had no treats for me because this was a lecture about JesusJones! You and your mate, Moyo? You need to Go and Play in the Big Red Buses! (Whatever she means by that. It's Another of Mom's Things she says, like You are enough to make a monkey bite his grandmother. And when Dad says he can't find something even though Mom has JUST told him exactly where it it? She shows him that it IS exactly where she said it was - and says: FFS! If it was a snake? It would have bloody well bitten you.)

Cat doesn’t care when Mom then calls him his other name. She said Jesus Jones! Are you even listening?

Because he was not.

What he WAS doing was this: He was planning an escape. Or how best to annoy me by trying to sleep on my bed. Or eat my food. Or any of lots of things Cat does because he just does.

And whilst I might be doing Extra-Extra-Good-Moyo, me... as soon as Mom is not looking? I’m going to pounce on Cat and pin him down, and Flea his Hair till he looks like he has been Dragged through a Bush Backwards.

And I will lick him till he looks like when Mom says You’ve made this cat's head look like a Sucked Mango Pip, Moyo.

I’ll do it to teach Cat manners. But also just because I like to mess his hair up.

P.S. So? Mom might have managed to do Neat and Tidy Painting on this day and not a drop could she find in any of the usual places she would find messed paint.

Until she copped a look at this...

...and then she wouldn't take responsibility for it. She said I must have been Playing Silly Buggers AGAIN and plopped my tail onto one of her paintings...