Apples, Boats, Goats & Stuff...

HEADS UP!

This is going to be a Very Long Post. Because I have told Mom that she Must Get All Caught Up. She said Seriously, Moyo. You are like a Sodding Drill Sergeant. But ok. I’ll get All Caught Up. Even if it means that This Post Is Going to Be Boooooorrrrrriiinnnng!

So here she goes. (And I am glad because now we can start talking about me, Moyo as Moyo Farm Dog. At last!)

Next in our Road Trip Epic Journey Plan was The Okanagan Valley and so we drove through lots of places to get there. Mom has made a map of all these places on the Home Page of my website – for those of you who might want to know about them.

From the top of the windywindy switchback Crowsnest Highway, we saw several things. We saw the town of Osoyoos, We saw loads of orchards and farms. We saw a beautiful lake. And we saw America.

Osoyoos is SO close to America that we could almost see Trump Towers. Sort of. But not really. But it is Really Close.

The plan was to follow the Lake until we got to Penticton, but somehow we took a wrong turning and suddenly The Noahbago was trundling off in the general direction of The Pacific Ocean. Which wasn’t quite as horrid as it sounds as that Wrong Road took us through Cliffs and Passed Mountains and the Afternoon Sun was Like an Orange as it Slipped Through the Blue of a Big Canadian Sky. And soon everywhere were orchards. There were Apples Absolutely Everywhere. We had arrived in Keremeos!

And in Keremeos there were also Peaches and Cherries, Oranges and Zucchini as big as a….as a….as a well, a Big Thing. Mom has been making Apple Juice so she was Terrifically Excited to get some Big Apples.

Observe the APPLES!

After getting Apples, Dad had a Good Look at The map and pretty soon we were on the Right Road to Penticton. We found a place to stay for the night and then Dad took me for a Walk on The Beach of the Skaha Lake. Skaha means Dog and so it was a Good Lake for me to Swim in. It’s a small lake on the south end of Penticton and the Big, Huge lake on the North side is the Okanagan Lake.

This is the Beach at SKAHA (DOG!!) Lake

The next morning Mom got talking to a Very Loud Lady who was visiting from Vernon and she found t all about Vernon, which was one of the places Mom and Dad planned to visit, anyway. Then we all climbed into The Noahbago and headed for the shore of the Okanagan Lake at the other side of Penticton.

There we found some Interesting Stuff. There was a Monster Big Boat parked at the shore and it had a Paddle Wheel. And right near it was an Old Airstream Trailer which had been painted all Fancy and which said Ooo-La-La on it because it was a French Airstream and it had two ladies in it who spoke French. They were selling these yummy pancakes so we had breakfast there and then we went for a walk on the pier out into Okanagan Lake.

These are ALL about Penticton

And what did we meet there? Sitting under a Big, Old Willow Tree? We met a man who had ridden his bicycle allllll the way from Quebec and he was heading to Vancouver. So we sat and chatted with him to a bit.

Then it was All-Aboard again and off we went. The next stop was Peachland. Once before, a long time ago, Mom had visited Peachland and she knew that Dad would Just Love It. We went through Summerland to get there and there it was – Pretty Little Peachland with boardwalks along the shore and sweet little shops and green, green grass for dogs like me to run on. We went to a Church Thrift Shop and Mom bought Dad and her a scarf each and for me, Moyo, Mom bought some EARMUFFS!!

Seriously, Mom said Dad. Seriously? What goes through your head sometimes? And Mom said Moyo is going to get Very Cold in this Canada, Dad. She NEEDS these. So Dad said Moyo is a LABRADOR, Mom. She will be Getting Back To Her Roots and You are determined to make her look like a NAF!

Mom said It’s Not Possible for Moyo to Look like a Naf. She will Look COOL! In her Fluffy, Grey Earmuffs. She can get back to her roots Next Year when she knows what to expect, ok?! Until then it’s earmuffs. And a Scarf! And with that Mom pulled out ANOTHER Scarf she had bought. It is a Red Tartan One and it is for me, Moyo. So I can explore my Feelings About Being a Labrador in Canada – in comfort and warmth

This is ME, MOYO. Looking DECIDELY COOL and UN-NAF in my Scarf.And Earmuffs!

(Actually? This is Dad's Scarf. Wait till he Finds Out!)

And then we left Peachland behind and drove to Kelowna. Which is a HUGE CITY with about 675gadzillion cars and people going every which way. So we didn’t stop because we decided long ago that Big Cities Don’t Need Us in Them For Longer Than It Takes To Drive Through Them.

These are from PEACHLAND! Even the ones where Dad is Being a WereRabbit. Which is what their Kids call THAT FACE WHEN HE MAKES IT!

And then came Vernon. It was getting late so Dad parked The Noahbago in a carpark near the Shell Gas Station. This is because there are places in Canada where you can spend the night in your trailer or RV or Noahbago for free and in safety. There were maybe fifteen other camper people already there.

Vernon had some lovely little streets which reminded us of Cape Town but all in all it is also a Big City and so we decided to leave the next morning to drive to where we had wanted to get to. Sicamous.

But BEFORE we got to Sicamous, the next part of our Epic Journey took us through the Most Beautiful Farming Valley which reminded Mom of where she grew up in Kwazulu Natal. And then, suddenly, almost out of NOWHERE? We discovered A MOST MAGICAL PLACE.

Right on the side of the Highway, there it was. Filled up with All Sorts of Interesting Things. There were Bears, Lions, Elephants and Stagecoaches. Cowboys in Hammocks and A Captain Hook or Three. And Gorillas, Giraffes, Sheep and DRAGONS!!!!

And GOATS!!!

There was a HUGE Thingy which had been built over the road into that place and guess what? The Goats walked up and down on stairs and OVER the road. And they put out their Pointy Little Goat Feet and Stopped Buckets of Delicious Goat Treats which kids down below could send up to them. Those goats? They had BIG horns. And Beards. And Funny Eyes.

I looked at Mom and Mom looked at me. I know Mom is NOT especially fond of Goat's Eyeballs. She says they look like the eyes on an actress called Jane Seymour and, said Mom, I never could watch a movie that had her in it. because, Moyo, I kept expecting her to stop alongside a road to munch on grass. Or climb a tree to eat leaves. Or, worse even, hide UNDER A BRIDGE and jump out at unsuspecting Bridge-Crosser-Overers.

Also? Goat eyeballs remind Mom of the time she was sitting on a Bog at a Movie House in Johannesburg and just as she was about to finish the paperwork?

Suddenly, from the stall next door? SOMETHING skittered under the dividing wall and across the floor to land at Mom's Unsuspecting Feet. And it was...A GLASS EYEBALL. Complete with Little, Spidery, Red veins and All Moist and Glistening Looking.

That Bog Eyeball Looked Just Like THIS ONE....and then Observe the Goat.

And Mom Almost Pooped and Passed Out. It Looked EXACTLY LIKE A GOAT EYEBALL WOULD LOOK if one came skittering into one's lavatory stall. Mom just Sat There. Looking at that Eyeball. And that Eyeball just lay there. And Looked at Mom. And JUST as Mom thought she was going to have to try and leave the bog via the teeny, tiny window over the cistern? A hand came in under the dividing wall and felt this way and felt that way.

It was Looking for the Eyeball. Which was Looking at Mom. Mom scooted that Eyeball toward that Hand. Which picked it up and Disappeared leaving Mom with the Intense Discomfort that Somewhere Out There would be at least ONE Eyeball which had seen her enthroned with her knickers down about her ankles. And short of going up to Every Single person she saw and Peering Closely Into One/Other of Their Eyeballs, she would NEVER KNOW WHO IT WAS.

I swear, Moyo said Mom. That day? Any vague feelings of Gentle Interest in Goats I may have been nurturing in the cockles of my heart? Gone. In the WINK OF AN EYE.

But, anyway? We all Loved that Weird and Wonderful Place. The Only Issue I had with it? There was ANOTHER of those (and I need to whisper this word on account of Mom's Goat Trauma) GOAT THINGIES FOR MY HEAD TO BE STUCK THROUGH.

But I was Prepared. I made my legs go All Stiff and I refused to be made to stick my head through a hole. Not even a teeny, tiny bit of my head went near that hole.

Me, Moyo. Refusing to Play Goat Hole Goat Hole.

The Best Part of that Place? Me, Moyo. Playing Moyo Lion. I was FEARSOME.

Another Pretty Good Part? Dad. Being Dad. And Showing us his King:Variants Thereof.

And then we went on our Epic Journey again, through Enderby, through Salmon Arms and right into Sicamous.

Sicamous is called The Houseboat Capital of Canada. And it is on the Shuswap Lake after Salmon Arm. Oh, wait! We also stopped in Salmon Arm and went to Another Church Bazaar where I found A PERFECT Cecil. It’s a Polar Bear Cecil and I love it!

In Sicamous we went to a place called The Legion. Almost every town in Canada has a legion. This is a place where old soldiers can get together and also they let in those of us who are not old soldiers. Dad asked if we could stay the night in their carpark and they said Yes. So we had supper with the Legion guys and then we parked up near the building and slept.

And the NEXT DAY was the START of me being Moyo Farm Dog. See, Dad had arranged for us to go and visit with friends on a farm just outside Sicamous.

Mom says she is going to stop here – she will post a story about hops after this. Because she says that she learned so very much About Hops and she thinks Everyone Else Should, Too.

And then? After that? Finally? Mom will tell you about me, Moyo, being a Farm Dog.

It’s taken Mom Forbloodyever to get to this place and I am SO not going to stop with nagging until she gets it done. Because Already we are on to the Next Part of Our Epic Journey which has me, Moyo being Remote Camp Dog Moyo and this Adventure Actually Starts TOMORROW. So Mom had best Get her Mind Into Gear and Her Fingers Flying because I know you all want to know about ME more than anything else.